maluithil

I read this xkcd comic today:

imgs.xkcd.com/comics/grownups.png

34,500 playpen balls: $7,323.
Babygate: $40.
Turning your room into a ballpen: priceless.

 

I recently watched King Corn for the first time. About time too, having so many opinions on the subject of United States agriculture and the beef industry. It occurred to me while watching to write down some of the facts I was hearing: here are just a few, and from the second half of the film.
- Consuming mostly corn produces health problems for cattle which create ulcers and sickness.
- Livestock now consumes 70% of the antibiotics in the United States.
- A ranch with around 100,000 head of cattle produces as much waste as a city of 1.7 million people.
- For each kernel of corn turned into high fructose corn syrup, there is a ~70% chance it will end up sweetening a beverage.
- In Brooklyn, New York, about 139 million gallons of soda are consumed each year, sweetened by 20,000 acres of corn.
- Earlier in the century, the general national farm policy was to pay farmers not to farm their land, or to restrict production of certain crops; in the 1970s, the policy changed to one that rewards the overproduction of cheap corn.

This being a pre-post to a set I anticipate posting over the length of summer vacation. Cross posted with myspace.

( I guess I write more than is usual for an average lj post... )

I've just returned from war, as have most of those who would read this, I guess. My dear crippled roommate is getting much love from her visiting mother, and I only hope Lessie and I can serve as well after she leaves tomorrow.

Besides the misfortune of my housemate, I think the war was wonderful. Sure, there were downfalls, my own ankle-spraining not least among them (and it's nothing compared to Jean's). But overall I had a wonderful time and, what's more, am returning to real world more able to face it.

I came to war this time looking for straight up escape. The past few weeks haven't been the best for me, and I wanted to remove myself from my troubles with the SCA like a user might remove himself from his troubles with his substance of choice. As I sometimes say, it seems the only real problems in my life are caused by me. This means that when anything is seriously wrong in my life, it is only from my own folly, irresponsibility, selfishness, etc. And when I am in my lowest of spirits, I am discouraged from seeking sympathy or sharing how I'm doing because I feel like I shouldn't get a pat on the shoulder just because I have to deal with the consequences of my own occasional shittiness. It's not hell, but if it were, it would be one I made for myself and rightly deserve, karmically speaking.

Aforementioned consequences, compounding into a 9-day period of extreme if evanescent personal pain for me (and which may resume tomorrow), seemed so immense by my wimpy standards that I went to war deciding to completely shut down anything that might think about it, knowing full well that when I started thinking about it all again it would be just as anxiety-producing if not more so with the 3 days of time lost in which to work on solving the problems. But it wasn't so.

It wasn't so, and this is the point. What happened at war? For one, the usual amazing people, amazing crafts and clothes and performers and foods and fighters, amazing weather. "usual amazing" may seem an oxymoron, but at every event I am amazed by new and wonderful things- it is usual per my experience to take in much at each event that can be described as amazing. For another thing, I opened up and talked openly about my situation with someone- something I try to avoid like the plague for the shame it incurs and lack of progress it produces. And you know what- I lucked out and talked to someone who didn't make it any worse and let me put it aside when I asked for as much. I am so grateful for when I open up to someone about something about which I'm still vulnerable and I don't get hurt. I usually get hurt when I think I will, which in theory should help me avoid it, but I have this habit of clinging to hope and opening up when I shouldn't and predictably getting hurt. I usually trust (rather than distrust) when in doubt- so of course that will go wrong for me now and again. And this time I lucked out- letting the real world into my happy fantasy didn't ruin my weekend. A third thing, what probably made the biggest difference, was being loved. Loving people, and being loved by people, is probably the best thing anyone can do for their mental and emotional health. But you can't make love happen, it must happen on its own. At this Potrero, my friends one and all made me feel loved at every turn and gave me invaluable support and friendship, without even knowing I particularly needed it, or if they did, without knowing why. Now, back from war and dwelling again on what I have to face tomorrow and even tonight, I'm not as worried. I'm stronger- revived. I hope I use the strength to fix things and not make them worse.

I'm listening to Sound of Silence- it is beautiful. It also helps.

http://content.foxsearchlight.com/searchlab/node/1480

This is a short film directed by Kevin Connolly and starring Robert Downey Jr., Amanda Peet, Tim Roth, and Zooey Deschanel. I watched it recently after seeing Tim Roth and Robert Downey Jr. separately and discovering they'd worked together on something. I think it's fun to find actors in roles or playing across others you wouldn't connect with them. I am a crossreferencing IMDB fool. Anyway: film. I offer up for public consumption. Opinions may follow.

I'm here at last. Who am I? I don't post my given name (at least not in full) in connection with Maluithil, but some know me as Eleonora. Others know me as Leah. Still others know me as "that one person." Well, those others might refer to more than me as "that one person," but they know who they mean. Do you know me? For that matter, do I know you?